It's been a little rough lately. After the news of David's Granny, David drove up to Lubbock for her memorial and I stayed alone with both girls for 2 days. It was exhausting with night feedings, Rylie school, Dr appt, Halloween, baths, dishes, bottles, house cleaning....but thankfully it was short and I know it meant a lot to David to attend that with family.
Then I received devastating news last Thursday. A friend of mine from high school, Nick, who was my boyfriend freshman year (my first boyfriend actually) commited suicide. Reading the news article of how the police tried to convince him to put the gun down, but instead he shot himself in the head completely broke me. I was home alone with both girls, holding Remy and thankfully a neighbor was outside. I just ran out there and handed her the baby in a blur then broke down. If you knew Nick, you would know he was the happiest goober in the world. This was completely the biggest shock. I will never understand why this happened and after being completely upset over it, I just became mad....no, pissed off! WHY the hell would he do this?! It makes me so mad that I can't ask him what was going on. The police were there with him in a local park in Waco trying to talk him out of it. Just put the gun down. Simple. Doesnt he know how upset he's made everyone? His family? Friends gathered for a memorial to celebrate his life this past Saturday. Unfortunately it was just the worst day for me to try to make it and I was unable to attend. My mom went for me though. Everyone released balloons to him and my mom wrote my name on one. I've just had a really hard time the past week processing this. I had a little comfort this weekend after learning that since Nick actually died in the hospital, they were able to save some organs and donate them. Others were helped. And that sheds a little peace. Just a little but it helps and it'll get better over time.
You were a great friend, Nick. You are very missed.
I have updated 5 more blog posts below this to get caught up.